Let the beauty you love be what you do

9 days. 23 hours. 40 minutes. and 44 seconds.

As of this exact moment, that's the amount of time left until I am seated in a row of plastic chairs along with a whole slew of eager Belmont University seniors, awaiting our diplomas. NINE DAYS. TWENTY THREE HOURS. FORTY MINUTES. AND FORTY FOUR SECONDS.

That's it. And then I graduate. And I am done with school (and homework and exams and papers) forever. (That is, unless I decide to return one day... But for dramatic effect, let's just say I won't).

I really don't think that it's hit me yet. I say that it has (just because that's what we're all saying right now), but I don't think I am able to fully comprehend the idea that a world I have known for 17 of my 22 years of life is suddenly about to end. This is just NUTS. Really. Nuts. (And yes, I did just create an online countdown for graduation. I am one of those people now).

Yesterday was technically my last day of classes.

Saturday was my last time singing in a Belmont University School of Music event.
Which also means it was the last time I'll ever get to wear this chic outfit:

We ended the program with the most epic rendition of "Come Thou Fount" I have ever heard or sung, and it was the perfect way to end a chapter of my life. To say I didn't shed some tears would be a complete and utter lie.

(In fact, if you want to listen to it, I just found our performace on YouTube. Ah, the power of the Internet. This doesn't really serve it justice.. kinda had to be there. But just listen until the end. Good Lord. The ending. So amazing.)

So what's goin' on? What am I gonna do? What are my plans after graduation?

I know this is what you're all wondering. Well, maybe not. This is just the topic that most people turn to when they find out I'm graduating soon. And I don't blame them! It is the topic of all topics.

Welp. A lot has happened in the last few months.

I came back from New York City. I was "homesick" for awhile. (Still am from time to time, actually).
I started classes again. (This was a real sock to the gut after not having to work too hard last semester).
And the questions started pouring in. Everywhere I went, people were asking me if I was staying in Nashville... if I was going to get a job... if I was going to keep doing music. 

Music has been such a hugely important part of my life, and it didn't take long for me to realize that I couldn't close that door... There were definitely some major moments of doubt. There were many nights where I would literally cry myself to sleep, wondering, "Can I do this?" and "How am I going to do this?"

But things always work out in the end, don't they?

Music has been such a blessing throughout my entire life, but in this last semester of my senior year of college, it has really been there just when I've needed it the most. The opportunities that have come my way, the people I've met, the experiences I've had.... they've all been so amazing. And more importantly, they have helped solidify my decision to continue pursuing my passion.

In January, I was asked to participate in the Tosco Music Party in Charlotte, NC. This marked my third Tosco Music Party... The first was shortly after I first started writing songs with my guitar back when I was 14 years old. The second was when I was 17. And now, at 22, I was asked to return.

The Tosco Music Party is such an amazing event that was started up by the wonderful, John Tosco more than twenty years ago. It features a variety of bands and artists from all over the world and an audience of about 1,000 people almost every show. The amazing thing about it is that no one performing gets paid... it is all simply for the love of music.

If you'd like to listen to my Tosco Music Party rendition of "Always There" (as well as a little interview about the song following my performance), you can go to this podcast:

Tosco Music Party podcast

It should be the first podcast available (at the moment).. it's from January. If you go about 8 min and 19 seconds into the podcast, you'll get to mine. But if you want, take a listen to some of the other performers as well! So wonderful.

Also in January, I was selected to perform in one of Belmont University's ASCAP Writer's Nights. You may not have any idea what this is... but for me, being selected has been one of my greatest personal accomplishments since being a student at Belmont.

Since my first semester on campus, I have been trying and trying and trying to get into one of the Writer's Nights. Over the four years, I believe I've submitted every single song I've written... and for some reason, it just never seemed to appeal to the judges.

But, as cheesy as it sounds... I never gave up. I told myself that I would never stop submitting to the Writer's Nights (that is, until I had graduated). And this last semester was my last shot at being selected.

And I got in. Once again, as cheesy as it sounds, this is a perfect example of never, ever giving up on something. You never know when the timing will be right.

Just getting in to the showcase was enough for me... But, as a cherry on top, I was selected as the winner of the entire round... Thus, giving me a spot in the end of the year's Best of the Best showcase (an event I had never, in a million years, thought I'd have the opportunity to be a part of).

Truly. Amazing.

On April 4th, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime.

 

I was invited to play Tin Pan South... the world's largest all-songwriter festival, held in Nashville every Spring. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I would have the opportunity to play Tin Pan South after only living in Nashville for four years.

And to make the whole experience even more amazing, I was asked to join a round at The Bluebird Cafe. THE Bluebird Cafe. I mean... there are no words.

And to make the experience even more amazing (I know, how is this possible?!), I was in a round with some of the most incredible songwriters to ever grace Nashville.

There I was... in the midst of Grammy award-winning songwriters, Pat Alger, Kathy Mattea, and Jon Vezner.

I will admit that I was scared out of my mind going into it. I was thrown into a writer's round with some of the big dogs... But sitting in that circle, hearing some of the most amazing songs, surrounded by a room full of people who truly love to listen to music... allowed me to feel at home. The way I felt during that night at The Bluebird was pure bliss. Pure happiness. It goes down as one of my top life moments ever. Hands down.

And on Saturday, April 13th, I finally got my shot on the big arena stage at Belmont for the Best of the Best showcase.

The amount of talent that the students of Belmont University have is absolutely insane. I shared the stage that night with some of the most incredible artists and musicians... To be a part of such a roundup of talent was just amazing.

Granted, there were some technical difficulties during my set... The mic didn't work in the beginning, I was hearing voices in my in-ear monitor during the entire first verse, and at one point, my guitar started feeding back.

But the ENTIRE show is run by students. Just like me. We are all learning. All the time.

After realizing my mic wasn't working, I just stopped. And in that moment, I was greeted with a roar of applause and shouts of encouragement from the audience... from my friends. I was able to relax a bit, take a breath, and enjoy the moment. It may not have seemed perfect to anyone in the audience, but to me, it was the best. (The best of the best. Hehe. Had to.)

It was the perfect way to start the "lasts" of my senior year.

Also, I was able to take these hilarious photos with a couple of people I love.

 

All of the opportunities... All of the little moments from this last semester... Have helped me to feel even more confident about my decision to continue on with my music after graduation.

It's going to be hard. I know that. I'm going to have to work my little butt off. I'm going to have many moments of doubt. But when you love something, you have to fight for it.

"Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the Earth" - Rumi

I know it might sound cliche, but I used this quote in my admissions essay when applying to Belmont back when I was a junior in high school. It seems fitting that I use it now, as I'm preparing to say "goodbye" to the institution that has been my home for the past few years.

The beauty I love is music. It's what I do. It's my way of kneeling and kissing the Earth. Each and every one of us has a beauty... it's what we do with it that really matters.

Thanks, Megan :)

I just want to briefly thank everyone who has been there to support me... not only in my recent decision, but throughout my entire life. I can't count my blessings, because there are too many of you. But know that I am truly grateful.

There is one paper, one exam, and there are 9 days, 23 hours, 40 minutes, 44 seconds between me and that diploma. Here I come, world.

<3
Nat

Thoughts and Hopes for 2013

I know I'm a little late in the game as far as a blog about the new year goes, but it is somehow fitting that I am just now sitting down to write this... I'm also not very vocal about this most of the time, but for some reason, I just felt the need to write it all out. Here goes.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
January 4th. We meet again. And as much as I kind of secretly wish you would just avoid my life altogether, I guess I'm going to have to face the fact that you will be around for every single calendar year from here on out. (That is, unless something crazy happens, and someone along the line decides to revamp the system).

You see, for most people, January 4th is just another ordinary day in the life. Or, for some, it may be a birthday. Or it may mark an anniversary. Or be the date in which someone started their first real job.

For me, however, it is an annual reminder of the "worst day" (Jonathan Safran Foer reference, anyone?) . Oh, the worst day. Isn't life interesting? Isn't it so fascinating that one, single date of the year can take on so many different associations for so many different people?

For those of you who don't know, on January 4th of 2011, my father passed away suddenly in his sleep. It came out of nowhere. And it flipped everything I've ever known and understood and believed in right on its head.

Since then, my soul has been ripped to shreds, has been slowly (and semi-haphazardly) pieced back together, and with a whole lotta time and a whole lotta love, has somehow come out on the other side even stronger than ever.

I know it sounds absolutely insane, but I feel like the luckiest girl alive. Truly.

It could be because I have an amazing family. And wonderful friends. And music. And a roof over my head. And food in my belly anytime I need it. And all of the other things that so many don't have.

I don't have my dad... and I would give anything to have him back again. But I still feel blessed.

My father was one of the happiest people I have ever encountered in my 22 years of life. It was very rare for me to ever see him without a smile on his face. Really. I know for a fact that at least one woman showed up to his funeral purely because she recognized his face in the newspaper and knew him as the "man who was always smiling" when he walked into the gym.

I can't tell you how proud that makes me to be his daughter. I would love nothing more than to be remembered in the same way.

So. Here we are. January 4th. 

But this isn't January 4th, 2011.
2011 is what I have chosen to call the "lost year". I don't really remember much of anything that happened throughout those 12 months. I believe Emily Dickinson says it best when she writes:

"After great pain, a formal feeling comes –

The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –

The Feet, mechanical, go round –

A Wooden way

Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –

Regardless grown,

A Quartz contentment, like a stone"

That really is the best description. I felt like a giant slab of stone. And thanks to the love and support from so many wonderful people around me, I was at least pushed (or, I guess, "rolled") through the year fairly unscathed.

Then, 2012 came along. 2012 was my year of "thawing". I slowly began to shed my rock-like layers and return to what my mother likes to call the "new normal". Because nothing is ever going to be the "old normal" ever again.

In 2012, I received an unbelievable amount of support via my Kickstarter from so many lovely family and friends (some old and some new). Because of this support, I was finally able to release my first full-length album, Savor.

 Also in 2012, I was lucky enough to be chosen to spend an entire semester in the always-amazing, New York City.

    Lots of wonderful things happened in between as well. I was able to go on a cruise to Mexico, my album was featured in the "New and Noteworthy" section of iTunes, I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandparents, I played so many shows I didn't know what to do with myself, and most importantly, I slowly began to establish a semi-permanent understanding of what this "new normal" would be. 

And now on to 2013. 

I have no idea what this next year will hold. Through the whole experience of losing my father, I know that life can change on a dime. As much as you think you have it all planned out, you really don't. And, for someone like me (who is somewhat of a control freak), this idea used to terrify me.

But it doesn't scare me anymore. Think of how difficult and exhausting it would be if you could actually control every single aspect of your life. I'll admit... there are some things in life that you can definitely control. Life itself is not one of them. And I'm okay with that.

In 2013, there are things that I plan to accomplish. Things that I would love to do, see, experience, explore, remember, and live. 

Most people call these "New Years Resolutions". I call them my "Hopes".

They are bound to morph over time, but for now, my "Hopes" for 2013 are as follows:

1. Finish all of my Kickstarter rewards for my fabulous Kickstarter backers.

2. Floss more. 

3. Remember to smile even if it is the worst day ever.

4. Read more books.

5. Write at least one song a week (even if it is so bad I never want to play it for anyone ever).

6. Keep in touch with old friends.

7. Make new friends.

8. Make it back to New York City at least once (even for just a short visit!)

9. Continue eating healthily and working out.

10. Take time to relax every once in awhile. It's okay to watch mindless television. In moderation.

11. Graduate from college.

12. Go on some sort of mini music tour.

13. Remember that it's okay to cry sometimes.

14. Continuously remind myself that I can be successful with my music. I can do it.
Someone has to have the job as a songwriter/musician. Why can't it be me?

15. Live it up.

I have no idea if any of this will happen, but I'm just excited to take on another year.

2013, show me what you got. 

Ps-- Just a sidenote: Aren't my parents the loveliest?

<3
Nat

New York, I love you.

My final days in New York City have come and gone.

I'm sitting here, in my wonderful home in Charlotte, reflecting back on not only the last week I spent in that magical city, but the entire four months I lived there. You know how they (whoever "they" are) say: "Time flies when you're having fun"? Well, those mysterious beings are certainly correct. I had the most amazing semester, and I feel that it just went by in the blink of an eye. 

Allison and me on the very first day... wayyyyy back in August, when we discovered this awesome view was only four blocks from our front door.

I honestly didn't even know how to start this final "New York City Adventure" post.

So, I'm just going to briefly touch on my last week.... and then whatever happens after that, happens. Cool? Cool.

This last week was filled with so many shenanigans and food and friends and music and happiness and thankfulness and goodbyes.

I drank some delicious coffee (with a complimentary chocolate) from Leonida's, which is a gourmet chocolate shop right down the street from Bank Robber Music.

I went back in time with my friends, and ended up at McSorley's once again!

I ate delicious, $1 New York pizza at 1:00am. (Which, by the way, is the only way to do it. It tastes better at 1:00am).

My friends and I went on a little adventure to the East Village and ended up at a subway stop where they were doing some of the most annoyingly loud construction in the world.

At least Josh was happy and excited!

Then, on Wednesday night, I went to my final Belmont East class.

... and we got to go on a tour of the NBC Studios. I know. BEST CLASS EVER. 

(Those are the only two pictures I could take... they didn't allow cameras in the actual studios. But believe me, they were great.)

Anddd, because I was down by the Rockefeller Center, I decided to take a little looksie at the Christmas tree.

It truly was magnificent. And I couldn't resist posing with it.

On Thursday, I went on my own, little adventure... I wandered around in SoHo, NoHo, and Chinatown, looking for Christmas gifts and enjoying the beautiful, winter weather. 

And, on my way home, I accidentally hopped on the wrong train.... It seems it was meant to be, though. Because I ended up at this subway stop, where I was witness to the most beautiful singing voice I have ever heard in my entire life. I am completely serious about this.

I stood right in this very spot and listened to mister Freddie King sing his heart out for a good 15 minutes. My train came and went TWICE while I listened, but I didn't care. As I've said to others already, his voice brought tears to my eyes in the best way possible. 

Thursday evening, I went to go see my friend, Finn, play some fiddle in a play that was put on at Juilliard. Yes. THE Juilliard. So neat.

I can't really remember what happened on Friday... but I have this photo as proof that I at least did something.

On Saturday, I went back to the flea market. On my way home, I couldn't resist picking up a slice of chocolate cheesecake from Junior's. 

Hands down, the most delicious cheesecake of my life. Can't handle it.

On Saturday, Allison, Olivia, Sarah Margaret, and I all went to brunch at Iris Cafe for one, final cup of delicious coffee and avocado toast.

(Yesterday morning, my mother surprised me for breakfast with her own version of Iris Cafe's avocado toast. I have to say, it was the same... if not, better. Now, I can make my own!)

On Monday, I had the absolute longest day of work (from about 10:30am until about 7:30pm). But, it was my final day in the office, and I soaked it up as much as I could. I hated to say goodbye to the wonderful people I've been lucky enough to work with this whole semester.

That evening, I met Adam and Eric for a drink at Floyd. It was so relaxing and cosy and perfect.

Tuesday was my final, full day in New York... and I decided to cram as many things into the day as I possibly could. I believe I definitely succeeded. 

First things first: I took a stroll down to the promenade to soak in the view and drink some Tazza coffee.

I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful last day. I did nothing to this photo to enhance anything. The sky was LITERALLY that shade of blue.

And I took the subway up to Central Park to wander around. (Part of me secretly wanted to get lost somewhere deep in the park... that way, I'd have a good excuse to miss my flight the following day. Then I realized how impossible that would be... and how terrifying it would be if it actually were possible).

I listened to more great subway musicians on my ride back to Brooklyn.

(I was worried that this guy would lose his keyboard any minute... it was hanging by a superrr thin string around his neck. Hope that worked out for him.)

I met some Belmont Easters for dinner at a delicious Italian restaurant down the street, and then I raced over to Rockwood Music Hall in the East Village. The fabulous jazz musicians at Mona's were having their CD release show!

And it was so perfect. It was an evening of singing and swing dancing and all-around good music. 

After the show, I raced BACK to Brooklyn Heights to meet up with the Belmont East crew for one final drink at Floyd.

(I stole this photo from Olivia. Thanks, lady.)

It was such a perfect ending to a perfect final day in New York City. 

On Wednesday, I said many "goodbyes" (to people AND to the city itself). After packing my entire life back into two suitcases, I made my way to the airport.

This was my attempt to take a final photo of New York from my cab. Didn't work out as well as I'd planned.

I arrived at the airport 2 and half hours early, because I knew that I was probably going to run into some sort of weight problem with my bags (seeing as I could barely lift either of them more than two inches off the ground).

I really wish that someone would have taken a picture of me with all of my stuff. I guarantee you that I looked insane. Just picture me with two GIANT suitcases, one giant guitar, and three other bags hanging off of me. It took me about 10 minutes just to get from the cab to the kiosk at US Airways.

First thing I did was weigh both of my bags. One was 48 pounds... the other, 59 pounds. Let's just say, I threw away quite a few things in the airport (including some bedsheets). One of the US Airways ladies saw me about to throw away my hangers, and she asked if she could have them for the coat room. I was more than happy to give them to her! In fact, I almost wanted to open up my suitcases and have a little yard sale right there in the airport. 

After stuffing the garbage cans full of my things, I went back to weigh the bags... both of them were 50 pounds EXACTLY. I don't know how I did it, but I practically received a round of applause from all of the US Airways workers. They said they'd never seen anyone do that in one try before. (This is a skill a didn't realize I had... is there a job out there that I could apply for that would be impressed by this?).

Then, in the blink of an eye, I was on the plane, watching New York City get smaller and smaller from my window.

Note: I didn't take this photo. My phone was turned off. But my view literally looked JUST like this.

It is hard to believe that my semester in New York City has come to a close. As much as I wish it could have been longer, though, I feel that I really did take advantage of every moment of every day. I didn't leave thinking, "I really wish I'd done so and so". To bring this blog full circle, I feel like I really "gave every moment a taste". (Metaphorically and literally). Hehe.

Thank you all so much for following me throughout this entire adventure! At times, the last thing I wanted to do was sit for an hour and create a blog post... but I kept trucking along, because I knew that there were others out there waiting for the next installment. And I am beyond happy that I chronicled my time in the Big Apple. Thank you all so so much.

This isn't the end of my blog posts... However, I won't be posting about every single moment of my life anymore. Just little things here and there about my music, recipes, and random thoughts. (Aka: I won't be "giving EVERY moment a taste".... I will only be "giving little, tiny bites". Hehe.)

In conclusion, I <3 New York.

It was so hard to leave, but I know that the city will always be there... I'll just have to go back and visit every once in awhile. 

Now, I'm off to start my next, great adventure.

<3

Nat 

Santa sighting, Christmas shopping, and paper writing

It's Christmastime in New York City!

The most wonderful time of the yearrrrr.

The moment it hit December 1st (well, actually, the moment Thanksgiving ended), the trees and lights went up.

You can't walk down the street without running into a "Christmas tree farm" (aka: a whole bunch of trees propped up on the sidewalk).

Our lobby at EHS is festive.

And I even found Santa wandering around Times Square like a little, lost puppy.

It was impossible for me to not get into the Christmas spirit, what with all of the decorations and the fact that the temperature has mostly been below 35 degrees every single day...

Therefore, this past week, I've been doing a lot of Christmas shopping!

They moved the location of the Brooklyn Flea from the water in Williamsburg to this awesome, old bank:

I wandered around this building for probably 2 hours straight. And bought one thing. (For myself. Oops).

Don't worry! I did end up finding things for others, after wandering around all over various areas of New York City.

And I heard some of the most amazing subway musicians this past weekend. I don't know what was going on, but they were all incredible.

Like these guys:

And while in the subway, I also ran across this disturbing scene:

That right there is an entire outfit. I mean, that is a pair of shoes, a pair of slacks, and a black dress shirt. And I believe a wallet somewhere in there, too. An entire outfit. I don't even want to know.

On Saturday, I went to this awesome thing called the Brooklyn Bazaar with a whole slew of Belmont Easters.

I walked around and looked at neat, artsy things created by Brooklynites.

And I sucked down the most delicious raspberry lemonade from Lizzmonade.

(Caught her in the act of makin' my drank).

And we all were serenaded by some fantastic up-and-coming Brooklyn rappers, who taught us that they were "wit it" (with it), and that "drugs are like that". (No idea. Don't ask me).

The rest of the week has been filled with interning, working on Christmas music for a show I have coming up, going to a chili dinner thing put on for all of us here with Belmont East, and a whole lot of this:

SO fun.

I also got a little sickly on Sunday night (thanks to my lovely roommate, Allison, who contracted a little bitty cold). Luckily, I destroyed the cold within twenty four hours thanks to an insane amount of Vitamin C. 

I'm sorry that this was such a whackadoodle post. I didn't even attempt to organize it into anything, so I'll probably look back at this later and realize how confusing it is. Oh well. YOLO.

I'm off to my internship! Then, I believe I will be heading to Mona's tonight to listen to some sweet jazz tunes. 

In exactly one week from tomorrow, I will be packing up and leaving my little room here in Brooklyn forever. I can't even believe it. I really do feel like we all just arrived yesterday. But all is well! I am going to soak up this last week as much as I possibly can. Ah. I just love New York.

<3

Nat