That's it. And then I graduate. And I am done with school (and homework and exams and papers) forever. (That is, unless I decide to return one day... But for dramatic effect, let's just say I won't).
I really don't think that it's hit me yet. I say that it has (just because that's what we're all saying right now), but I don't think I am able to fully comprehend the idea that a world I have known for 17 of my 22 years of life is suddenly about to end. This is just NUTS. Really. Nuts. (And yes, I did just create an online countdown for graduation. I am one of those people now).
Yesterday was technically my last day of classes.
Saturday was my last time singing in a Belmont University School of Music event.
Which also means it was the last time I'll ever get to wear this chic outfit:
We ended the program with the most epic rendition of "Come Thou Fount" I have ever heard or sung, and it was the perfect way to end a chapter of my life. To say I didn't shed some tears would be a complete and utter lie.
(In fact, if you want to listen to it, I just found our performace on YouTube. Ah, the power of the Internet. This doesn't really serve it justice.. kinda had to be there. But just listen until the end. Good Lord. The ending. So amazing.)
So what's goin' on? What am I gonna do? What are my plans after graduation?
I know this is what you're all wondering. Well, maybe not. This is just the topic that most people turn to when they find out I'm graduating soon. And I don't blame them! It is the topic of all topics.
Welp. A lot has happened in the last few months.
I came back from New York City. I was "homesick" for awhile. (Still am from time to time, actually).
I started classes again. (This was a real sock to the gut after not having to work too hard last semester).
And the questions started pouring in. Everywhere I went, people were asking me if I was staying in Nashville... if I was going to get a job... if I was going to keep doing music.
Music has been such a hugely important part of my life, and it didn't take long for me to realize that I couldn't close that door... There were definitely some major moments of doubt. There were many nights where I would literally cry myself to sleep, wondering, "Can I do this?" and "How am I going to do this?"
But things always work out in the end, don't they?
Music has been such a blessing throughout my entire life, but in this last semester of my senior year of college, it has really been there just when I've needed it the most. The opportunities that have come my way, the people I've met, the experiences I've had.... they've all been so amazing. And more importantly, they have helped solidify my decision to continue pursuing my passion.
In January, I was asked to participate in the Tosco Music Party in Charlotte, NC. This marked my third Tosco Music Party... The first was shortly after I first started writing songs with my guitar back when I was 14 years old. The second was when I was 17. And now, at 22, I was asked to return.
The Tosco Music Party is such an amazing event that was started up by the wonderful, John Tosco more than twenty years ago. It features a variety of bands and artists from all over the world and an audience of about 1,000 people almost every show. The amazing thing about it is that no one performing gets paid... it is all simply for the love of music.
If you'd like to listen to my Tosco Music Party rendition of "Always There" (as well as a little interview about the song following my performance), you can go to this podcast:
Tosco Music Party podcast
It should be the first podcast available (at the moment).. it's from January. If you go about 8 min and 19 seconds into the podcast, you'll get to mine. But if you want, take a listen to some of the other performers as well! So wonderful.
Also in January, I was selected to perform in one of Belmont University's ASCAP Writer's Nights. You may not have any idea what this is... but for me, being selected has been one of my greatest personal accomplishments since being a student at Belmont.
Since my first semester on campus, I have been trying and trying and trying to get into one of the Writer's Nights. Over the four years, I believe I've submitted every single song I've written... and for some reason, it just never seemed to appeal to the judges.
But, as cheesy as it sounds... I never gave up. I told myself that I would never stop submitting to the Writer's Nights (that is, until I had graduated). And this last semester was my last shot at being selected.
And I got in. Once again, as cheesy as it sounds, this is a perfect example of never, ever giving up on something. You never know when the timing will be right.
Just getting in to the showcase was enough for me... But, as a cherry on top, I was selected as the winner of the entire round... Thus, giving me a spot in the end of the year's Best of the Best showcase (an event I had never, in a million years, thought I'd have the opportunity to be a part of).
Truly. Amazing.
On April 4th, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime.
I was invited to play Tin Pan South... the world's largest all-songwriter festival, held in Nashville every Spring. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I would have the opportunity to play Tin Pan South after only living in Nashville for four years.
And to make the whole experience even more amazing, I was asked to join a round at The Bluebird Cafe. THE Bluebird Cafe. I mean... there are no words.
And to make the experience even more amazing (I know, how is this possible?!), I was in a round with some of the most incredible songwriters to ever grace Nashville.
There I was... in the midst of Grammy award-winning songwriters, Pat Alger, Kathy Mattea, and Jon Vezner.
I will admit that I was scared out of my mind going into it. I was thrown into a writer's round with some of the big dogs... But sitting in that circle, hearing some of the most amazing songs, surrounded by a room full of people who truly love to listen to music... allowed me to feel at home. The way I felt during that night at The Bluebird was pure bliss. Pure happiness. It goes down as one of my top life moments ever. Hands down.
And on Saturday, April 13th, I finally got my shot on the big arena stage at Belmont for the Best of the Best showcase.
The amount of talent that the students of Belmont University have is absolutely insane. I shared the stage that night with some of the most incredible artists and musicians... To be a part of such a roundup of talent was just amazing.
Granted, there were some technical difficulties during my set... The mic didn't work in the beginning, I was hearing voices in my in-ear monitor during the entire first verse, and at one point, my guitar started feeding back.
But the ENTIRE show is run by students. Just like me. We are all learning. All the time.
After realizing my mic wasn't working, I just stopped. And in that moment, I was greeted with a roar of applause and shouts of encouragement from the audience... from my friends. I was able to relax a bit, take a breath, and enjoy the moment. It may not have seemed perfect to anyone in the audience, but to me, it was the best. (The best of the best. Hehe. Had to.)
It was the perfect way to start the "lasts" of my senior year.
Also, I was able to take these hilarious photos with a couple of people I love.
All of the opportunities... All of the little moments from this last semester... Have helped me to feel even more confident about my decision to continue on with my music after graduation.
It's going to be hard. I know that. I'm going to have to work my little butt off. I'm going to have many moments of doubt. But when you love something, you have to fight for it.
"Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the Earth" - Rumi
I know it might sound cliche, but I used this quote in my admissions essay when applying to Belmont back when I was a junior in high school. It seems fitting that I use it now, as I'm preparing to say "goodbye" to the institution that has been my home for the past few years.
The beauty I love is music. It's what I do. It's my way of kneeling and kissing the Earth. Each and every one of us has a beauty... it's what we do with it that really matters.
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| Thanks, Megan :) |
I just want to briefly thank everyone who has been there to support me... not only in my recent decision, but throughout my entire life. I can't count my blessings, because there are too many of you. But know that I am truly grateful.
There is one paper, one exam, and there are 9 days, 23 hours, 40 minutes, 44 seconds between me and that diploma. Here I come, world.
<3
Nat
